you’ve been who everyone else wanted you to be.
Now you're ready to be really, fully you.
This is emotional freedom and identity integration for people-pleasers, peacekeepers, and the reliably fine, who'd love to stay kind to others, yet stand with themselves at the same time.
Somewhere along the line, we were taught that being easy to love and being honest are two different roads.
They aren't. It just takes practice to walk them at the same time.
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We're good at people. We read a room before our coat is off, remember who takes oat milk, and can feel a mood shift from the other end of a parking lot.
These are real skills. Most of them started out as protection, because as wee little ones, we needed social inclusion and cuddles to survive, literally.
And the culture we grew up in was very delighted to put our "pleasing others, denying self" skills straight to work.
Nobody sat us down and taught this. They taught it in a thousand small moments instead.
Be easy. Be good. Don't be so much.
We learned it beautifully, and most of us are still fluent.
Meanwhile, your feisty soul-self has their own opinions. They've been quietly patient. Getting louder, though.
Being easy to be around gets excellent performance reviews.
Wanting things does not.
(Sierra pls make this good if you think it should be a standout phrase)
Most of the systems around us don't benefit when we're clear about what we want.
It's hard to get our self-advocacy reps in, when the client is always right and so is the boss; and our wishes for help around the house are met with whiny resentment. Including from the adults.
Lately, life might look something like this.
People-pleasing. Someone asks, "Would you mind…?" and your mouth says "Of course!" while you're still processing the question.
Overthinking. You've rehearsed tomorrow's conversation eleventeen ways, including one where they apologize beautifully, and one where you move to Portugal.
Avoiding. There's a message you've been meaning to answer since last spring. You think about it most days. You have not opened it.
Perfecting. You rewrote a two-line email four times. It was about a potluck.
Numbing. The day was a lot, and somehow you're forty minutes into videos of recipes you will never make. It works. For about forty minutes.
Trying to control ourselves and others. You've planned for every version of the weekend, including the parts that are technically other people's job.
Overthinking. You've rehearsed tomorrow's conversation eleventeen different ways. You've predicted every outcome, including the one where they apologize beautifully, and the one where you move to Portugal.
If you're laughing a little too knowingly, you're in good company.
Most of us were praised for being easy to be around. Plenty of us learned it at home, and some of us learned it because it kept us safe.
And we love our pleaser patterns!
They're very friendly, and helping others to feel good, feels good.
But not when it costs us more than we are willing to pay, at this point in our lives.
These learned patterns got us through when nothing else could. They're loyal and clever and they've been on shift around the clock.
Like a life vest that's become too small, they're still trying to buoy us up.
Mostly now they just get in the way of the swim.
And look at you! You're becoming a very strong swimmer.
It's time to practice taking off the life vest and swimming freely.
Kind words
"Jessa, the full effect is still happening!"
"You held space for and tapped with me on a repeated, long-standing, 20-year grief that has finally been released. I no longer feel so weighed down by it. I feel freer and no longer stuck in freeze mode! I think the ripples will go on for a long time."
Karyn
"More grounded and relaxed, . . . happier!"
"This was wonderful teaching and guiding, just perfect for me. I'm definitely more grounded and relaxed and peaceful. Happier and lighter than when we started. Thank you so much. I'm going to take this and snuggle up with it for a bit!"
Kristia
Hi, I'm Jessa.
Emotional Freedom Coach · Mama & Creatrix · Certified Somatic EFT Practitioner · Intersectional Feminist · Believer in Humankind
I found EFT in 2015, looking for anything that might ease years of chronic pain in my neck and shoulder. Massage, chiro, physio, and a dedicated stretching routine hadn't touched it. At my first weekend EFT workshop, a skilled teacher helped me find the abandonment wound underneath the pain, and my neck let go for the first time in years. My pain went from a 9 out of 10 to a 5 that day. In all of the years since, it's never climbed back above a 7. Most days I don't notice it at all.
That was the start of a decade of training and practice: four mentors, dozens of practitioner exchanges, certification in Somatic EFT, training in Evidence-Based EFT for Trauma, and tapping with hundreds of people on everything from the inner critic to deep grief and resentment over a dying parent.
I work as a steady, skilled, and intuitive guide.
Nothing about you is broken, and I'm not here to fix anything.
I'm here to help you listen to yourself in a new way, and meet yourself with comfort, clarity, and trust.
What kind of shifts might I expect?
LISTED OUT SIMILAR TO ABOVE SECTION - BULLETED - ICONS?
It might be a very ordinary Tuesday when:
- you pause before the "of course!" - long enough to check whether you mean it.
- the potluck email goes out on the first draft.
- you notice the pull toward a quick scroll on your phone, and you pick it up, or don't, on purpose.
- your colleague asks where you'd like to grab lunch and you say, "There's this Thai place I love. Let's go there."
- your partner is mad at you, and you stay kind to them, and stay on your own side, all at the same time.
You're present. Able to think and respond, not just react.
Your renewed capacities for creativity and problem-solving hum throughout your body like a kitten's purr. Genuine and unapologetic.
None of this is a personality transplant. It's just you, showing up as your relaxed and thoughtful self, with everyone being considered. Now including... you!
It's time to hold yourself in the same loving ways that you hold everyone else.
You already know how to care for people beautifully.
Our work together helps you turn some of that care towards you, even in your life's most demanding moments.
How does it work?
The culture that taught us this is not going to unteach it.
So we do it ourselves, where it was learned in the first place: in our bodies.
Somatic Emotional Freedom Techniques help us work with our reflexive responses right where they live, so the reflexes can soften and new choices can appear.
This isn't forced positivity. We're going right to the heart of things. Processing what we find, safely and lovingly. We're building a self-connection so strong that it holds steady, even when someone you love is angry or disappointed.
Kind words
"…The value of doing it with a skilled practitioner"
Thanks so much for the EFT session. It was a reminder that there is a tool at my fingertips I have not been using. But more than that, the value of doing it with a skilled practitioner.
Annie
"Your guidance helped me so much"
Thank you so much for your session! I'm super grateful.
Your style, knowledge, lived experience, and guidance helped me so much.
Ellicia
4 Ways to Work Together
For caring, capable people who'd love to learn how to include all of themself in their relationships.
And still be lovely to everyone.
Let's Connect
30-minute meet and greet · Free
A relaxed half hour to see how we feel together. Ask me anything about tapping, tell me what's on your mind, and we'll figure out which level of support is right for you. If by chance we aren't a fit, I'll lovingly suggest some other options for you.
Your First Session
75 min · $111
Like to try before you buy a larger program? Come see what EFT can do. This is one full session where we tap on whatever's most alive for you right now. You'll leave with a few tools you can keep using on your own, starting that same day.
Knowing You Have Wings
5-session package · $555
When you're ready to go further than a single session allows, this is the next step up.
Five sessions give us room to lovingly meet your protective patterns, tap through what's underneath, and practice their gentle opposites in real life, between sessions, when it really counts.
One session can shift feelings. Five sessions can shift reflexes.
Includes:
Pocket Taps. Short guided tapping audios for the specific moments, not the general topics. The one for right after you said yes to something you meant to think about first. The one for the night before a hard conversation. The one for after you did the brave thing and your body hasn't caught up yet.
Thank You, Protective Parts of Me. A guided ritual audio for the Awake phase. Meet the part that's been running the show, and thank it properly, which is a thing almost nobody has ever done for it.
What's Most Alive Today? A quick, slightly cheeky check-in you can take before each session, so we find the live wire in the first five minutes instead of the last five.
Warm-Up Pages. Optional guided journal prompts to use between or before each session, for people who think better with a pen. Entirely skippable, and no, I won't read them unless you want me to.
The Future Self Tap. In session five, I hand you back your own words. I collect the language you've used across our whole series, the phrases that made something move, and build them into a tapping sequence in your own words, for the version of you that you've been working towards.
Winging It
70-day container · 10-session package · $1333
Ready to root and wing into a whole new chapter of your life? When you're ready for maximum support to rewrite old patterns, release the past, and move steadily and energetically into your highest self.
This 10-week container is designed to help you gain major traction and momentum as you glide into your next incarnation.
We'll tackle:
transforming identities
nervous-system rewiring
building out your local and spiritual support teams
handling that specific conversation you have been rehearsing since 2022
learning to to lovingly advocate for you, while holding others in respectful presence
getting truly unshakeable in your love of self, so that it becomes the most natural thing in the world to stay present and in self-compassion when someone close to you is genuinely annoyed.
If you're ready to fully drop the too-tight life-preservers of pleasing others at your own expense, this program is for you.
This container is open to a limited number of clients, so I can fully hold the space for your Sacred Renewal.
Includes:
10 x 1:1 sessions
Unlimited Voxer support. Yes, including the 8pm, "I did the thing. Please tell me it was okay" voice note. (Especially those, luv.)
Mini-tap videos made just for you, to reinforce your desired state
Everything in Knowing You Have Wings: Pocket Taps, the Thank You, Protective Parts of Me ritual, What's Most Alive Today?, Warm-Up Pages, and your Future Self Tap
The chance to truly choose which versions of you are taking the wheel in the years ahead.
The NAPStm Method
Three questions you can carry into any hard moment, with tapping underneath each one.
Awake
What can I notice that I'm feeling? What emotions and sensations am I holding?
Allow
What if I could be ok with all of me? If there were no such thing as impossible, what would I need and want right now?
Act
What would I like to choose for myself? What are the small acts of genuine self-care that can help in this moment?
Simple enough to remember mid-argument. Rich enough to keep discovering for years.
Wait. What is EFT tapping?
EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques, and many people just call it tapping.
We talk, notice, feel, and then tap gently on points on the face, body, and hands. We tap on the end points of our meridians - full credit and a deep bow to Traditional Chinese Medicine for identifying the meridian system of our bodies. (It's not unlike the electrical wiring in your home.)
EFT belongs to a field called Energy Psychology, which pairs things you may recognize from conventional therapy, like exposure and mindfulness, with tapping on acupressure points.
A growing body of clinical research supports it as a complementary wellness practice. You'll now find it used by therapists, psychologists, physicians, coaches, and athletes.
Yes, it looks a little silly. And it works, surprisingly well. At its simplest, EFT helps to neutralize or soften your experience of
Tapping on your own is superb. Tapping with a trained practitioner goes further, because together we can find what's under the surface and work with it safely.
Have more questions? Come talk with me!
Frequently Asked Questions
What is EFT tapping, in plain language?
You bring a specific feeling, memory, or situation to mind while tapping gently with your fingertips through a short sequence of points on the face, hands, and torso. The talking keeps the thing present. The tapping tells your body it's safe to be present with it. Most people call it tapping, and it takes about ten minutes to learn the basic sequence.
Can tapping help with people-pleasing and codependency?
Yes, and it's the centre of my practice. People-pleasing is rarely a thinking problem. You already know, intellectually, that you're allowed to say no. The trouble is that "Of course!" leaves your mouth before the thought arrives, because it's a body-level reflex built over decades. Tapping works at the speed of the reflex rather than the speed of the insight, which is why it tends to reach this particular pattern when understanding alone hasn't.
Is this the elevator or the stairs?
It's the elevator, and you still have to press the button. Tapping is usually faster than talking about it, and the research consistently notes results arriving sooner than expected (and lasting). What it can't help you skip is the deciding, the showing up, and the part where you try the new thing out loud on an actual human being. That's what gets you changing floors, quicker.
Is there research behind it?
There is more than most people expect. The Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology maintains a database of over 200 peer-reviewed clinical trials of acupoint tapping, including randomized controlled trials and meta-analyses, and a 2025 review in Frontiers in Psychology pulls that evidence together alongside the physiological mechanisms that may explain it. It's an emerging field and I'd never tell you it's settled science. I'd also never have believed it until my own neck settled the matter for me.
Do you work with people outside Canada?
Yes. I'm based in the Canadian Rocky Mountains and work with clients all over the world by video call.
Is this only for women?
No. The patterns we work with here get taught to everyone, just with different instructions and different consequences. All genders welcome, all family shapes welcome.
What if I cry? What if I feel nothing?
Both happen, both are fine, and neither predicts how well this works for you. Some people laugh and cry in the same session. Some feel very little in the room and then notice on Thursday that a thing that always bothered them now doesn't.
Can I just tap on my own?
Absolutely, and you should. Self-tapping is a genuinely good daily practice, and I'll teach it to you. Working with a practitioner goes further because I can hear the thing underneath what you're saying, and you cannot easily hear that about yourself. That's not a failing. It's just how being inside your own head works.
Is EFT the same thing as energy healing?
Not quite, and the distinction matters if you're the skeptical sort. EFT sits inside a field called energy psychology, which combines recognizable psychological methods with stimulation of acupressure points. It's structured, it's collaborative, it's intentionally non-traumatizing, and you do the tapping yourself with your own hands. Nobody waves anything over you.
I've done years of therapy and I understand my patterns completely. Why am I still doing them?
Because awareness and reflex live in different departments and don't always speak. Understanding why you over-apologize is a genuine achievement - and that learned response is stored in body-mind. Somatic work goes at the second one directly.
Is this therapy? Are you a therapist?
No. I'm an Emotional Freedom Coach and a Certified Somatic EFT Practitioner, not a licensed mental-health professional. EFT is a complementary wellness practice rather than treatment. Plenty of my clients see a therapist too, and that combination works well. If something comes up that wants clinical care, I'll say so kindly and help you find the right support.
How many sessions will I need?
Most people notice some things shift in the first session. Changing a lifelong reflex usually takes a series, which is why the five-session and 12-session packages exist. If you'd rather test the water first, book a single session and decide after.
Who do you work with?
Caring, capable people in the middle of something big. Creatives, activists, artists, and people moving through a major life transition: getting into or out of a significant relationship, deep in sandwich-generation demands, a midlife shift, the empty nest or retirement redefinition era, or living with loss and grief. If you're pregnant or newly parenting, I have a whole separate practice for you at The Comfy Mama: EFT For Birth.
Do I have to talk about my childhood, or relive anything painful?
No. We can work at a comfortable distance from a difficult memory, and there are gentle techniques designed exactly for that. You set the pace, you can stop anything at any point, and "I don't want to go there today" is a complete sentence that I will simply accept.
Do I have to believe in it for it to work?
No, and I'd honestly prefer you didn't take my word for anything. I came to this highly doubtful, looking for pain relief and expecting nothing. Bring your skepticism. It's welcome, and it's often the part we can lovingly acknowledge and learn from, first.
How do we start?
Book a free 30-minute meet and greet, or go straight to a single 75-minute session if you already know you want to work with me.